Hello brothers and sisters in Christ, Am a newly wedded couple of only 7 months. My friend needs help and crushes at our couch since four months. I just came in today to meet her in bed with my husband. I don't know what to do and commiting suicide is not an option. This is my first post here and its a horrible one. I think all i want know is a divorce. Will God understand if i have to get out of my marriage?
byAlson 02 Apr, 2016 01:17
Hi- this sounds terrible! I am glad you are strong and say that sucide is not an option- Life is a gift of God and you should cherish this gift. For any matter God is the best consultant and friend ! Your first lesson- you are newly wed and so should have spent more time with each other and allowed your relationship to grow. Always try saying a prayer together- "a family that prays together stays together "! Second- you do not need help others who don't deserve! Never have a snake stay in your house! See the options where you can get rid of her for good!! Never let her be around you or your life!! You may have to be diplomatic in doing so but see her back for good! Now coming back to what ever has happened and your options for future- This part is really for you to decide. You need to first calm yourself and pray . Ask yourself how you want your future to be? If you know your husband before marriage and you trust both of you to be able to put this adulterous act forever behind and be able to forgive and bond in your relationship . See If you feel that the two of you can go on and have family and be happy with each other in life ! Weigh your options not in anger or hurt but in wisdom and calmness! However if you feel otherwise and if you feel that this incident would never let you bond and stitch a partnership. If that trust is lost and can never be built again then instead of suffocating in a marriage it's better to part ways! Again here you need to think hard think smart and think wise! See if you can financially support and have family and friends for backup! Decide and evaluate to see if your without this man would be better!! Spend time with God and think hard- there are two things that you can do. First- leave your husband forever. Get divorced and start life afresh. Second- if the situation has not gone beyond repair and can be done !! Make it work and continue your relationship!! May God give you strength and wisdom!! Stay blessed!!
byHorebon 05 Apr, 2016 22:34
Love and forgiveness are the two great Christian virtues which u have to show now ! Never think abt parting at all, bcos God never allows parting . think if God would have parted from us bcos of our infidelity, what would be our condition now. So sit and talk together. Spend more time in prayer and God's word together ! Pls pls never think of divorce ! God bless you both !
byAlson 06 Apr, 2016 22:49
Agree about the gifts of forgiveness - but no don't agree with that never get divorced comments !! The issue in life needs to be looked from both spiritual and practical point of view! In my view you should weigh your options and decide what's best for your life! What's best for your future! Hoerbs here may feel differently- but I would advise you to be strong and take your call! By not standing up for your self you actually let yourself down! And no I don't consider divorce as a taboo - it's better to end a relation than to spoil two (or more) life! I guess you need a practical approach and it will be best when you decide for yourself ! Let no one tell you what to do and yes- if it comes to divorce - and you feel it's the right thing , speak to a lawyer and get it done! Hoerbs- it's not only about "please don't leave him"- it's about when he is sleeping with her friend how would she feel sleeping / being with him!!
byHorebon 08 Apr, 2016 14:35
Our decisions should not be made , based on what we feel or think, but should be basedon scriptures !
byAlson 12 Apr, 2016 21:15
Scriptures provide the base of our life but our action should depend on practical and measured basis! After all -"God helps those who help them self"
byYoyoon 17 Apr, 2016 23:30
Alys , i totally agree with you that we should live according to scriptures but be practical with day to day life situations. Ever since that happen... I have truely forgiven him, but i have not forgotten. At any time i think about it i just choose to move on. My body netherless hasn't forgiven him. Sexually, you've not come in contact no more. I don't just feel okay when he posses that same hands on me. As of my friend. She is still around. She has nobody in the united states.(we are from africa) and if i throw her out. I dont know where she will go.
byYoyoon 17 Apr, 2016 23:33
Horeb, thanks for your moral support. I completely understand your point of view. Pls kindly advice me what you will do if you were faced with thus situation.
byHorebon 18 Apr, 2016 16:33
Yo-yo pls don't think I am not understanding ur pain or aversion, but if I had seen my wife lying with someone, though it would break my heart, I would remember the following two things: 1)Bible says *[[Mat 5:27]] KJV* Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: *[[Mat 5:28]] KJV* But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. So I would remember how much I am also an adulterer in God's SIGHT , as many times I have sinned, atleast in my thought 2) I will check my own love towards my wife, bcos I will check where I have not ssatisfied her which made her to search for another.
Sorry if I hurt u . But I shared my vviews. But I am amazed at ur love and patience. It is all bcos of Jesus in ur life. Continue to pray . Gods graceis ssufficient even in this time of trouble and sorrow. I really pray for u . God bless you!
bydoescripturesagreeon 18 Apr, 2016 21:48
Hello, Hope these words of Christ helps
Matthew 19:9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery--unless his wife has been unfaithful."
Matthew 1:19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
If your spouse is unfaithful you may divorce according to scriptures. According to Christ. Sexual immortality has to be the reason for divorce