Just as 'God can' said God can forgive anything. No sin is too big for God to forgive.He loves us deeply. Let me explain something to you.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
I John 1:9 NKJV
Let me shed some light on the above scripture. 'If we confess our sins'.... That's our part. That's all that we need to do here. The rest of the verse is His part. Let me explain. It says He is FAITHFUL and JUST. What do these mean?
JUST: God is a judge and perfectly just. When man first fell,according to God's justice system we were all supposed to die.
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23 NKJV
God could not violate this justice system bcos that would make Him less just and by extension less perfect and less God. So He had to satisfy His justice system. At the same time He is perfectly loving! So He decided this
Therefore, as through one manís offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Manís righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life.
Romans 5:18 NKJV
In other words if by Adams sin, sin and death came to all men then by the death of His perfect son Jesus Christ life also comes to all men who repent and believe in Him.
And by the blood that was shed on calvary, every believer can have their sins forgiven whenever they commit sin.
FAITHFULNESS: the Bible says God is forever faithful to His word. He cannot lie or say anything contrary to what He has already said-the words in the Bible.
And this is what He has said: if you believe in Jesus all your sins would be wiped away because Jesus already paid for your sins on the cross. If you fall after that, just confess your sins and receive forgiveness. And He is forever faithful to that.
This is what faithful and just means.
The problem here is that you are refusing to accept forgiveness for one or more of these reasons:
1.you are still feeling guilty about what you did.
2. It sounds too good to be true. At least something bad should happen to you as punishment
3.others I can't think of
For guilty feeling, I can't make it go away. But yielding to it is yielding to a life of bondage. The Bible refers to the devil as the acuser of the brethren, he wants to keep us feeling like God has not forgiven you. And he is going to continue acusing you possibly for years to come concerning this same issue. He never stops attacking. But let me tell you this, the only condition you were to satisfy to be forgiven was confession of sins then God does the rest. 1John 1:9.
I know you are feeling guilty so its difficult to accept this but just take another look at the scripture and you would see this is true. God is not expecting you to accept His forgiveness based on your feelings but based on faith in His faithfulness. That He would never break a promise He has made to us. That is why He said in His word that we should live faith and not by sight ( emotions, feelings, senses).
Look at this scripture:
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:15-16 NKJV
This scripture is saying that because our great High Priest Jesus has been human before He understands the struggles and moments of weaknesses that we have sometimes..but we shouldn't worry, we should still come into the throne room of God, into His presence so that we may receive MERCY ( forgiveness) and GRACE( strength for the journey ahead). This is because many of us try to run away from God, stop going to church etc when we fall. I have been there.
Sandra, I want you in light of this information to confess your sins to God, ask Him to forgive you and receive the forgiveness. In other words believe with all your heart that you are forgiven in spite of your guilty feeling. Its more of a matter of faith than feeling. Whenever the devil comes at you with it,tell Him boldly that you are forgiven and accepted by God. As time goes on the guilt fades because the devil starts backing off. The word says 'resist the devil and he would flee from you'. God wants you to know this that He loves you so much! God bless you!